i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
