i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
