my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
