Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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