We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
