What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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