careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
