you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Come see our sink grown plant.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
