You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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