Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
