Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Idk if I want to put a bra on
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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