Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
