i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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