So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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