he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There r osticjed everywhere
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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