the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
