I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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