People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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