So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
