Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
