can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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