There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
