do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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