i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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