I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize