i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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