atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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