Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
