New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
