I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
