sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
