I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
