So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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