made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
