i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
40s are totally the cure
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
