she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
