she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
