You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
