ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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