he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
