when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize