Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
