He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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