its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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