remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
