Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can I color on your dick again?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
