now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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