Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
