i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
