i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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