The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
