Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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