PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH