You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.