i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I will pee on everything he values.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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