wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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