They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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