i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
