I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Four minutes until I can fart!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I love having hate sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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