I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
