Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's blow job season.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
