THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
