Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize