nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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